From time to time, you will hear a voice say you are a failure, a good-for-nothing, a retard, not handsome or beautiful enough and this sounds believable at times.

It’s our tendency as human beings to sometimes look at ourselves and think that the results we have produced are entirely who we are. When the world relates to us in a way like we are losers we assume that identity and take it to be our own.

What Is An Inner Critic?

The inner critic is the voice that incessantly keeps telling you that there is always something wrong or negative with you. You have to admit carrying that burden is exasperating and hinders growth and social involvement.

How To Identify The Inner Critic In You

1. Being too judgmental about self.

Are you constantly hard on yourself giving yourself negative feedback all the time with little or no positives? This is inner critic handiwork, making you torture yourself with the burden of being a no do-gooder.

2. Standards

What do you use as a standard of beauty, success, failure, good life etc. If you have an inner critic, you will always be viewing yourself and achievements from a flawed perspective of the eyes of the world. With this, you will always either fall short or surpass the standard and this will cause a poor sense of self-concept.

3. Self-esteem

Do you have high, low, or moderate self-esteem? Having a low sense of self-worth and value may be an indication of having an inner critic.

4. Shame

Feeling that there is always something wrong with you may be an indication that your inner critic is at work. The spirit that sees the self as not being enough or that something is wrong with the person causes one not to be at peace and happiness a concept far from reach.  

SO, HOW CAN YOU CHALLENGE ANDF SILENCE THE INNER CRITIC

1.Count thy blessings

Wherever a voice speaks of your unworthiness and despicableness, then look around and within yourself.  This is a concept that can work for you as it did for me.

How do I count my blessings? Look at the things in your life which are going right. One being you are alive, you can move around, can feel the sun on your face, and most if not all your senses are right.

You have at least that one person that loves you always no matter what, so despite if the world may not like you then there is one who sees your true value.

2. Disconnect from Social Thinking

If you are a social thinker then you are always thinking about what the other person may think of you and see you. It’s a tough trying to please other people because even they do not feel satisfied by being themselves.

Creating your own unique way to see yourself is essential to remove the blurriness of the mirage and see the surface for what it is.

3. Know thyself

It’s the Socratic quote which stems from self-knowledge and awareness. Do you know yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, what can you do, what are your talents and skills, and what your answer to who am i.

Knowing you, creates an understanding and clarity that removes the facade and misconceptions one had of themselves.

4. Don’t mistake results for who you are

When we produce a not-so-good result we may sometimes associate it with who we are. That because I have failed am a failure, because she/he rejected me I must be a loser or a terrible person.

We are not the results we produce and understanding this is key in eliminating all non-complacent sense of self and be free to live with the few mistakes and blunders and work on them.

5. Changing your perception

Its said that when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. If you view the world and yourself from a different angle then you will see these differently and maybe there was value all along which you couldn’t see.

6. Engage the thought

You may want to dismiss the negative voice as quickly as it came and yet it’s a voice with no truth whatsoever. So, confront it when it arises sometimes. For example, if it says am not beautiful enough challenge it with am unique non is like me.

7. Positive Self talk

When a negative thought comes your way dismiss it with a positive thought instead and with this, you will replace the negative critic.

Need help? Our counsellor can help you deal with inner critic/being self critical