Can’t stop doubting yourself?
Is self-doubt getting in the way of your happiness and accomplishing your goals and ambitions in life?
If yes, you are not alone.We acknowledge that whatever you could be feeling right now or concerns that you may have about this situation you’re in are valid.
Self-doubt stem/ emanates from lack confidence regarding yourself and your abilities, often accompanied by a sense of fear of failure and uncertainty in life.
As read through this article, you may be grappling with questions like: why can’t you stop doubting yourself, how can you stop feeling self-doubt?
The good news today is that you can overcome this overwhelming experience, pervasive feelings, and maladaptive behaviors
and rebuild your self-confidence, self-belief, worth and self-esteem.
Listen, let me tell you a story about the big five Elephant Rhino, Buffalo Lion name them. So, which of these big five animals do you imagine should be the king of the jungle?
By look of things say size, and strength, you might think Elephant or Buffalo should rule the animal kingdom.Right?in reality, this is not the case
You can see by all measures of standards Elephants appear to be huge and mighty, isn’t it? However, the lion dominates and rules or rather is the king of the jungle. What could be the possible reasons behind this?
- Self-belief, lion holds a belief that is capable of achieving anything and can prey on wild animals no matter what it must eat.
- Perception interpretation of how the lion sees other animals, self and situation
- Positive Altitude
- Courage lion utilizes its ability despite the situation that can be frightening/scaring
- Risk Taking, it attempts and ends up preying on other animals
- Self-confidence positive view of self and belief in abilities
What this mean is that the lion is aware of the fact that the elephant has an advantage over it and therefore it capitalizes on the elephant’s weakest point of being scared, running away behavior while the lion utilizes on above strength which helps it to pray on the elephant.
Reflect on this, when you are faced with distress, difficulties and challenges in life. Do you view yourself and your situation as a lion or an elephant? Now that you know what are you going to do differently from here onwards?
How do you tell if you are experiencing self-doubt?
Below are some of the telltale signs that indicate that you could be battling with self-doubt
- You focus more on weaknesses and negative aspects of your life
- Overthinking/ruminating. Second-guessing yourself, over-generalizing and analyzing outcomes
- Comparing self with others, the tendency to compare yourself unfavourably to others, or rather seeing yourself as inferior in comparison to others
- Constant seeking validation constant seeking approval, reassurance and validation from others in making your own decisions
- Being self-critical and hard on yourself, self-blame and judging yourself so harshly on situations that are at times beyond your control
- Procrastination -you delay tasks, and postpone your to-do list and plans this is because you doubt your ability to do them well or make the right choice.
- Avoidance with no apparent reasons, avoiding situations that may push you out of your comfort zone in fear of either failure or rejection
- Minimization This is a cognitive distortion that involves downplaying your achievements and looking down on yourself not recognizing your skills strengths etc.
What are the causes of self-doubt?
- Core Beliefs -rules that individual lives by for instance holding a belief that you are not good enough, unlovable, not deserving etc.
- Advance Childhood Experiences When you were growing up were you told you can’t do certain things, mistreated, bullied and criticized whenever you attempt to do anything
- Schema is a mental construct that interprets and informs a person on what to expect from various experiences or situations.
- Perfectionism wanting to do things perfectly or rather avoiding doing mistakes may keep you stuck in a vicious cycle of self-doubt.
- Low self-esteem placing a low value, importance and belief in yourself leads to constant self-doubt
- Negative Self Talk that prevents you from seeing things differently, opportunities and abilities.
- Too Diverse Expectations that are beyond your reach and keep you trapped in the sense of failure, disappointment, frustrations and doubting your capabilities.
What does self-doubt do to a person?
Self-doubt can get in your way of happiness and significantly impacts your mental health, in addition to this it affects the quality of life in various ways in terms of moods, relationships, social behaviours and work performance are greatly affected.
This battle within you erodes your inner peace of mind, confidence and self-concept, and you are left grappling with insecurities as well as overthinking about your capabilities.
There are three distinctive types of Self Doubt you should know about
- Imposter Syndrome
- Self-sabotage
- Indecisiveness
Useful Tips to Help You navigate through and overcome self-doubt and regain self-confidence
- Recognize and acknowledge your self-doubt as a problem to be addressed. This is the first step to overcoming and breaking free.
- Do a swot analysis- what are your strengths, gifts and talents and focus more on your strengths and past successes
- Restructure/challenge your negative thoughts this can be achieved by changing the way you think about yourself others and your situations
- Embrace your faults and permit yourself to make mistakes
- Improve yourself -talk say good things about yourself and entertains positive thoughts
- Practice Self-care and self-love. Stop being hard on yourself it’s about time you start pampering yourself and the inner child.
- Seek professional, self-doubt if not addressed can negatively impact your mental health, self-esteem and self-worth. Therefore, feel encouraged to reach out today to be equipped with the tools and necessary skills to overcome self-doubt.
Finally, in conclusion, self-doubt is a common experience that many people go through at various points in life. Overcoming self-doubt is a gradual process that takes time and effort.
Be patient with yourself and acknowledge the little steps and progress you make every day and keep moving forward despite the challenges that you may encounter.
Reaching out for professional help will go a long way in overcoming this experience, breaking free and reclaim your life