Do You Want To Experience Self-Actualization?
Who would you be if you had no fear? Do you believe in yourself and your capabilities?
What would you do if you believed in yourself and your capabilities?
If you woke up today and you were everything you ever dreamed of, how would you feel? Allow me to rephrase this question: What would you do differently today to ensure you are everything you ever dreamed of being?
IDEAL SELF
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Your ideal self is who you desire to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually (holistically). It comes from the things you have already worked on, those that you are currently working on, your strengths, and the shortcomings you want to scrap.
Secondly, you develop your ideal self based on your environment, what you think is in your best interest, and even trauma or pain. It is an image of who you want to become in light of those factors.
The ideal self is a concept developed by Carl Rogers, a psychologist who came up with person-centered therapy. He believed that people are self-driven and capable of making decisions when given the three core conditions: genuineness, unconditional positive regard (UPR), and empathy.
Also, Carl Rogers focused on the ideal self as one of the three components of the self-concept, the other two being self-image and self-esteem.
SELF-ACTUALIZATION
Self-actualization is realizing your full potential. It involves appreciating life, maximum fulfillment, intrinsic motivation, giving back to society and others, and experiencing the joy of each day.
Abraham Maslow, a humanistic psychologist, introduced the hierarchy of needs. He believed that human beings have needs that motivate their behavior and who they are. Furthermore, they are in a hierarchical order (lowest to highest), and following the fulfillment of each one, you can move on to the next one. (Maslow, 1943).
HIERARCHY OF NEEDS
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The first is the physiological/basic needs (Food, Clothing, and Shelter). Following that are security needs (these are the things that ensure you can meet your basic needs daily, i.e., source of income, permanent housing, and more)
Third, Love and Belonging. It involves valuing your family, friendships, and social interaction and investing in the well-being of these aspects. As you meet the basic needs and security necessities, you open up to the social part of your nature.
Fourth is self-esteem. We talked about this in-depth in the article on signs of low self-esteem. Self-esteem is the value that you accord yourself. It can either be high or low. When you’ve met the three needs you’ve seen, you can examine yourself and value who you are, creating high self-esteem.
Finally, at the peak of the hierarchy is self-actualization. At this point, you believe in yourself and your capabilities. Unquestionably, after getting your necessities sorted, ensuring that you are secure, have a support system and community behind you, and have high self-esteem, it becomes inevitable to live to your fullest potential.
You enjoy interdependence and experience holistic development, that is, mental, psychological, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and social wellness. You are able not only to impact your life but of others too.
WHAT TO DO TO BE YOUR IDEAL SELF
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Be consistent
Becoming your ideal self is a process, not a destination. You have to choose to be that person daily and to stay there. It is a journey of working on being better every day.
A great proponent of that is Darren Hardy, a renowned writer of the book, “The Compound Effect,” and a success mentor, who has daily segments called “Darren Daily,” that give you tools to be better every day. They are personal recommendations, so make sure you check them out.
Intentional living
You cannot afford to cascade through life directionless. You cannot afford to survive only; you have to live. There is so much more to life than going to work and back home, paying bills, then over the weekend, partying.
Conversely, life is for you to live, grow, enjoy, develop, thrive, and achieve dreams. More often than not, that will come at the expense of your comfort, but is that not worth it? The reward of living is getting what you dream of in all aspects of wellness.
Heal
You must have gone through your fair share of pain, hardship, and trauma. I know you have. Remember that you can heal. The choice is yours to change your story and deal with what might hinder you from achieving your fullest potential.
Book a session with us, and let us explore and deal with your childhood trauma. You should also journal and process your emotions. Choose to come out on the other side, winning.
Personal Development
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Are you working on yourself? When you cover all these aspects of working toward your ideal self, that is personal growth and development.
Take it a day at a time
As much as each day looks the same, or you may be doing pretty much the same thing, every day is 100% unique, and you should handle each as such.
Additionally, you didn’t wake up in the same sleeping posture as you did yesterday, you don’t feel the way you did yesterday, your motivation can be different, you didn’t talk to the same people at the same time as you did yesterday.
Be accountable to someone/ Allow responsibility
Accountability is the most underrated motivator. Let us break it down: Your parents’ most significant motivator is the children. Let me let you marinate on that.
Introspect
You can call this your inner mkutano (meeting). It involves self-reflection, evaluating your plans, and doing a personal SWOT analysis to see the areas you need to improve, where you have reached, and if you are heading in the right direction.
Goal setting and planning
What are you working towards achieving?
Nurture healthy relationships
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What is your circle like? What is the quality of your relationship with your parents, spouse, children, siblings, and close friends? Are you intentionally doing things to improve those relationships or sabotaging them?
Take Action
You are 100% responsible for your life, choices, and growth. If you are uncertain, find certainty. Additionally, if you are ailing, find healing. Do what you need to do to get what you want. To do that, you need to believe in yourself and your capabilities.
Grounding
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What earths you and keeps you stable and firmly held through troubling seasons? What are your values and belief systems? Are you spiritually rooted? What do you stand for despite your waning emotions and uncertainty? That will keep you on track toward your ideal self and self-actualization.
In the comments, please add what else you need to do to be your ideal self.
WHAT NOT TO DO TO BE YOUR IDEAL SELF
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- Procrastination
- Making excuses
- Blame Game – Other people can play a part in your trauma and hurt, making things difficult for you in different circumstances. With that said, ultimately, you are fully responsible for how you react to them and the impact they will have on your future.
Owning difficult emotions, working on them, and developing resilience enables you to move forward, even in fear, uncertainty, and pain. Those are steps toward your self-development.
- Neglect self-care – Do you take time to rest? What do you do to ensure that you recharge and refresh to show up as the best version of yourself and give your best to everything that needs you in whatever capacity?
- Escapism and Avoidance – Facing yourself is challenging. It is so much easier to go for the flight response than fight. However, in most cases, ‘fight’ gives you a long-term solution.
Facing the hard truths about yourself, evaluating and accepting your weaknesses, and tackling things head-on create an environment for healing, growth, and self-actualization. Therapy allows you to face this with the help and support of a professional. Book a session with us today.
- Self-sabotage – By doing any of the things listed up there, you probably have self-sabotaging tendencies.
Let us know in the comments what you need to cut off that would deter you from being your ideal self.
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN IDEAL SELF AND SELF ACTUALIZATION
When who you are today (the “real” self) meets the person you desire to be (ideal self), then you become fulfilled, achieve wellness (being a well-rounded, fully functional being), and therefore want to share with others and uplift them, thus resulting in the fulfillment and wellbeing of others too (self-actualization).
WHY DO YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOUR CAPABILITIES?
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The epitome of personal success is intrinsic fulfillment. The joy you get when you are satisfied with the person you are and becoming. Self-actualization is the reward or payoff for working on your holistic well-being, so you need to believe in yourself and your capabilities.
When you believe in yourself, you grow, improve, and develop to the best of your ability. Being better every day guarantees that you are working towards your ideal self.
Indeed, you have a purpose here on earth. We tackle this in-depth in the article on the greatest tragedy in life. When you believe in yourself and your capabilities, you fulfill your destiny.
In conclusion, no one else knows your dream and your desires. You are the only one that can actualize that which you dream of. The desire is in your head, so it is up to you to make it happen. If you don’t, who will?
Help is on the way. You can overcome the odds.
Writer,
Sheila K. Muli.
toolwellnesshub@gmail.com
[…] for support – You are created to be interdependent. When examining the hierarchy of needs, love and belonging is the third need. Being surrounded by people who understand your struggles, understand your […]