So, what do you imagine is the greatest tragedy in life? Sounds like a mind boggling questions.

In the famous words of Dr Myles Munroe, who once said ‘The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but living a life without a purpose.”As you read through this article, reflect about few questions below. Do you feel like what you are doing for a living today adds meaning to your life?

Are you living a life that you don’t desire that leaves you feeling overburdened with life stressors and lacking a sense of direction? Letting others influence how you think, feel, or behave, or rather doing things just for the sake of doing it does it fulfil you?

If you ask yourself any of these questions, keep reading, you might find your answer. One of my essential articles of clothing is socks. I live in an area that gets quite cold, so most of the time. I dawn on a pair of socks, specifically single-toe ones. I find them very cute and practical.

The first time I interacted with these socks, I thought to myself, “I’ve never seen such gloves”.I kept looking at them and wondering how funny looking they were so I decided to ask the seller what type of gloves they were. The seller giggled, then told me that they were socks.

Let us imagine a scenario where I wouldn’t have asked the seller, then I buy them and go home knowing they are gloves. Do you think they would have served me? Probably, Yes. When you look at it in terms of functionality.

They will keep my hands warm but be very uncomfortable to work with, so my thumb wouldn’t perform its function well. When you look at it in terms of the fitting, do you think they would fit well? You might be tempted to think and wonder if is there a better option.

Whether there something wrong with the socks or is something wrong with me for not knowing the correct function of what I bought? Would the piece of clothing serve me better and more effectively if used for my feet instead of for my hands?

For you to use something the right way, you must know the product (what it is) and then know the function/purpose. (what it is used for) For you to know your purpose, you have to know yourself, then you’ll know what you were created to do.

This will help you become more effective, and in turn, utilize your time here on earth better. You may ask, so how do you find your purpose? Read on as you find that out.

SELF AWARENESS.

For you to do that you must know yourself. That’s the first step.

Source: DS Stories

So how do you answer the mind boggling question of Who I Am? According to, Carl Rodgers, a famous psychologist, at 0 years old, when you born, you knew nothing, you were what we call; the organismic self. Your true self and true identity were intact.As you grow older, the organismic self becomes influenced.

You are is a blend of your biological composition (genetics), where/how you were raised (environment), and your choices.

Those 3 things make every human being unique.

This is why your siblings are very different from you, yet you share the same genetics but may have a different environment like school, work, social circles, etc., and make different choices for your lives.

To know yourself better, you need to reflect and ask yourself these questions,

1. What’s your hereditary background? (Draw a family tree if possible)
2. What kind of environment were you raised in? (e.g. Raised in riches/poverty)
3. What choices have you made as a result of all that and what were the consequences of those choices?
4. In each of the above questions, how have they affected who you are today?

SWOT ANALYIS

May be you have come across this acronym. It is a very common one in so many aspects of your life.

Source: Getty Images

Simply put, it is to analyze your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.

1.Strengths These are areas you excel at. What are those things that you do well? Is it art, dealing with people, organizing things, your high intellectual ability, public speaking, or technology? What are you good at? List those things.

2. Weaknesses – These are the things that you don’t do so well.

In other words, the areas of improvement. They help you find out what you need to put more effort into. Is it drawing, leading, singing, public speaking, etc.?

3.Opportunities – These are the loopholes, gaps, or niches that you can plug into.

For example, if art is your strength, you can start looking at things that are artistically inclined like drawing, design work, paintwork, construction, etc.

4.Threats – These are the things that are stopping you from achieving what you are supposed to.

They are stumbling blocks preventing you from working on your strengths and improving your weaknesses and seeing your opportunities. Could it be your attitude, behavior, excuses, environment, unhealthy patterns, trauma, and relationships/friendships? You need to reflect on these things to know yourself better.

5.Goals

Businessman drawing flag and mountain on chalkboard.

In the long run, what do you want to achieve? What are your dreams and aspirations?

Someone once told me that your goal is guided by what you will be disappointed in the most if it does not happen or what would be the most fulfilling thing if it happens to you.

A friend of mine owns a bakery. She enjoys baking. I asked her, “what would disappoint you the most when it comes to your baking?” she told me that if a customer called her and complained about the taste of her pastries.

So based on that, her goal is to give a heavenly delightful taste to each pastry she bakes. As much as she would love referrals and sales, for her, the taste is very important now.

Therefore, the majority of her effort is put towards the baking bit as opposed to branding and marketing. Let’s get back to you, what would disappoint you the most if it doesn’t happen in your life? Hidden in there, is your goal. Therefore, your daily behaviour, actions, and choices must align with and build toward your main goal.

Goals can either be short term meaning immediate or long-term (5-20 years) and short-term (daily/weekly/monthly/quarterly/yearly). Goals can be for different seasons in life and therefore can change depending on the task at hand.

You need to take time and reflect on these things frequently as you work on knowing yourself better.

Image : Magda Ehlers

Everyone was born for a purpose and with a purpose. You were put on earth to do something. Not to do nothing and leave. Just to reiterate what Dr. Myles Munroe said, “that is the greatest tragedy in life.” As you know yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, opportunities, threats, goals, aspirations, etc.

There is something that’s common and is a foundation of all of the things written above. Here’s an example: I am a firstborn, who was raised in different towns within Kenya but lived in Nairobi for the better part of my adult life.

I chose psychology as a career because my strength is my intellectual ability, and I love impacting people’s life. I desire that you become the best version of yourself, therefore, being in the mental health sector was a great opportunity to do that.

My goal is to be excellent at what I do, empower others, and reach those that need to know their purpose. That fulfils me. After knowing all this, what is my purpose?

It is to serve and empower others to be the best version of themselves from the inside out and therefore become a functional tool in the society we live in. That’s mine.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE?

As you can see, it is not random that you do the things you do and like the things you like.

It is not random that you were brought up the way you were, your sibling position, your talents, and abilities, because all of these things influence the choices you make and that is tied to your purpose.

Hidden below the surface of each of those aspects of yourself, there lies your core motivation that drives you to do what you do. Achieving that gives you fulfilment and adds value to your life, that is what you call, purpose.

You need to deeply examine yourself and allow yourself to be self-aware, accept the things you see, work on what you need to improve, meet yourself in a way you haven’t before.

You see knowing your goals, and work towards them, then you will find out what deeply motivates you to keep doing what you need to do to add value/ meaning to your life.

FINAL THOUGHTS.

You need to be willing to look in the mirror and know exactly who you are, the positive and the negative. As you keep searching, you will be able to find your purpose.

Some aspects of yourself are difficult to uncover and walk through because of the pain and trauma you’ve been through and therefore may be a hindrance to finding your purpose.

Some of your strengths are drowned by fears and other people’s voices and influences. This is why we are here as counsellors. To journey with you through all these emotions, pain, trauma, and confusion and uncover the hidden motivations that stop you from knowing yourself well, therefore not fulfilling your full purpose.

Do you want to know yourself better and identify your purpose? Professional help is on the way, you can overcome the odds!

About the Writer,

Sheila K. Muli

Counsellor, Trainer, and Speaker