Intrusive Thoughts? How To Handle Them
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a meeting, class, or even a serious conversation, and you find yourself thinking about a movie you watched years ago or a joke you saw on the internet? Have you ever looked at someone talking, and a random thought of your childhood springs up, thus you feel terrible and even get emotional? Those thoughts that ‘intrude’ on your daily activities/conversations or situations are intrusive.
WHAT ARE INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS?
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Intrusive thoughts are unwanted ideas, memories, thoughts, and events, that randomly pop into your activities and interrupt the normal flow of events. They can be positive or negative. According to the APA Dictionary, Intrusive thoughts can interrupt the sequence in which you perform tasks even when you try to avoid them.
Everyone, at one point or the other, has experienced intrusive thoughts. Others you pay more attention to while others ‘go out’ as fast as they ‘come in.’ Dr. Poppenk says that the human brain processes about 6200 thoughts per day. Out of that estimate, imagine how many could be unnecessary and intrusive. Since you do not pay much attention to every thought, imagine how many you’ve forgotten.
Random thoughts can pop up anywhere, anytime, albeit you pay more attention to the negative than the positive ones. These thoughts can easily pass by like a cloud, although fixation on specific ones can influence your feelings and thus affect your behavior and mindset.
Cognitive Behavioral Theory talks about how your thoughts affect your feelings and how the latter, in turn, affects your behavior (Beck, 1967). These intrusive thoughts can affect you both positively, creating an environment for growth and healing; on the other hand, they can affect you negatively, deterring your development or opening up wounds you thought were closed.
TYPES/EXAMPLES OF INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
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As I mentioned earlier, you fixate mostly on negative intrusive thoughts, and they come with a myriad of destructive feelings and behaviors. Let’s examine the types of intrusive thoughts.
Harming thoughts
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Harming thoughts is a line of thinking that leads to infliction of pain to self or others. There are several things to look into when you examine notions that lead to pain.
- Self-harm – First, self-harm can involve two things, causing pain by hitting your fist on a wall, self-mutilation, or putting yourself in situations that will lead to fights so that others may hit you. Secondly, it can include extremes like, suicidal thoughts, suicidal attempts, or taking your own life.
Ever looked at a bus passing through the highway and imagined jumping in front of it? Often, you don’t intend to act on them; however, the thought may cross your mind. If you find yourself fixated on such ideals and even taking a step to do it, kindly seek help to address the issue.
Thinking about how painful it would be if you cut yourself, or hit your head on a wall, are thoughts that can pop into your head. Giving them attention and airtime to play on can lead to changes in your feelings, thereby, your behaviors. Arrest these ideas and do not dwell on them. You are more powerful than you think.
Intrusive thoughts of self-harm lead to feeling unworthy, like you have no purpose, unloved, futile, dispensable, and hopeless, thus, affecting your behavior.
- Harming others – Further than self-harm, you can think of hurting others. As mentioned above, you may not act on those thoughts. They are just random thoughts that pop into your head as you do things. It may be as a result of stress. It is prevalent among parents undergoing post-partum depression.
You know that thought you have when you try to reason with your workmate or boss, and they are petty. Yes, that one. It could be an intrusive thought that you need to shun away so you don’t act on it. Don’t hesitate to ask for assistance if things spiral out of control through fixation or desire to do what you are thinking about.
Sexual Thoughts
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Have you ever found yourself busy doing something, then you get random flashes of a sexual experience you’ve had, watched, imagined, or read about? Such mental pictures can arouse stimulation and even hinder you from being as productive as you should be.
If not navigated well, they can cause daydreaming, fantasizing, and even sexual addictions. Undoubtedly, such imaginations release dopamine which you could potentially become addicted to. These sensations will affect your productivity, relationships with others, and some boundaries set on how to relate with others.
Negative Self Talk and Doubt
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What goes through your mind when you look in the mirror? Are you the type to stare at yourself and appreciate how good-looking you are, or do you find yourself stuck on the pimple on your chin and how you need to conceal it?
Do you ever look at it and think, “Why am I not as curvy as…? If I was taller, I’d attract… I’m not good enough that’s why he got that job.” Such thoughts may cross your mind, but what you do after they do will determine whom you see in that mirror. Naturally, you would have certain opinions about yourself, but it is unnatural to let them define you and grow into a belief system, causing you to spiral down.
Replaying painful events
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Finally, you may have gone through something difficult, like a road accident, a loss, or physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, to name a few. You could experience random thoughts of the ordeal that might have caused immense pain. Such things may be unexpected, bringing about an emotion that feels real that you would think the event is happening again. Replaying them is not the way to go. Walking this journey of healing and processing emotions with your counselor is a great place to start.
The thoughts can feel so real, but they are not. For this reason, this is your reminder that it is in the past, and you have to allow yourself to move past that by giving less and less time to them. Moreover, remember that this could be your alert that you need to address something deeper. Deal with it from the point of healing and growth, not trying to re-live the experience.
CLINICAL ISSUES CAUSED BY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
Fixation of some intrusive thoughts can cause anxieties and obsessions that could lead to anxiety disorders and psychiatric issues like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Post-Partum Depression, Psychosis, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
HOW TO HANDLE THEM
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Intrusive thoughts are not a permanent mark hence treatment is available. Inner work is possible. Positive intrusive thoughts do not necessarily cause alarm, but negative ones do if unchecked. How you react to the thoughts determines their impact on your life.
Additionally, intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. They do not define you. They may show you things you need to work on, deal with, and get past, but let that not hinder you from living a fulfilling life.
I have emphasized this in this article because some intrusive thoughts are triggers that expose things you need to deal with. By yourself, you can only go so far; you need extra help. Professionals dig deeper, explore what’s in the unconscious, let go of biases, give you empathy and unconditional positive regard, ask the right questions, and go to places you’d not allow yourself to step into.
We have the techniques, expertise, experience, emotional intelligence, skills, knowledge, and bandwidth needed to deal with such issues as you live through life. One way to deal with negative intrusive thoughts is by cognitive behavioral therapy to challenge those thoughts patterns with which your therapist is well acquainted.
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Remember your brain’s ability to develop thousands of thoughts per day, so do not dwell on those thoughts, especially the negative ones that could cause a fixation.
Most of these thoughts are harmless and will occur in different circumstances with no triggers. They’ll pop up when they want to, and the brain will keep creating, as it should. That’s its primary purpose.
As I was writing this article, many things popped up in my mind that threw me off-course too, and I’m sure that as you are reading it, the same will happen if it hasn’t already. You will give attention to some of them and brush off others. Give air time to what deserves that and is geared towards your personal development when faced, both negative and positive.
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Work on any underlying issues you have.
Some issues you have can affect your perception of intrusive thoughts. For instance, if you have low self-esteem and an interfering memory of how a conductor talked to you while entering a matatu pops into your mind, it could affect your esteem further.
As a result, the image validates any negative thoughts you have about yourself. They may be untrue, unreal, and even exaggerated. As you face your root issues, you get to tackle those thoughts with an edge over them.
Write in the comments any funny intrusive thoughts you’ve had recently.
Are you dealing with low self-esteem?
Writer,
Sheila K. Muli
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